there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
its not stalking. its research.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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