I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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