hotel room ftw
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
