She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
