She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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