in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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