I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
