Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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