Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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