The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
