ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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