operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
