she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
