Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
