What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my poor anus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
