she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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