Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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