I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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