you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
