so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
