Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.