You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter