the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
I chose taco bell over sex...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YAS. BRING CRAB.