No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.