Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

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  (314): Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead. (573): Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what. http://tfl.nu/rrcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1415) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.

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  (202): also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker. http://tfl.nu/m532
  Replies (16) Good night (543) Bad night (2151)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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  (905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later. http://tfl.nu/c4t5
  Replies (25) Good night (6286) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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  (815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw
  Replies (22) Good night (7983) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.

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  (360): I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink. http://tfl.nu/xse5
  Replies (6) Good night (4432) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

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  (610): advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back http://tfl.nu/339g
  Replies (13) Good night (3868) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

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  (705): Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it. http://tfl.nu/bw0n
  Replies (11) Good night (4409) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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  (303): Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good. http://tfl.nu/f0em
  Replies (7) Good night (2901) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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  (319): Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours. http://tfl.nu/m0o9
  Replies (19) Good night (3645) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1351) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How was your 8:30 class today?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.

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  (306): How was your 8:30 class today? (1-306): Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus. http://tfl.nu/9y2t
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.

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  (321): He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF. http://tfl.nu/s52i
  Replies (9) Good night (1359) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.

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  (337): Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed. http://tfl.nu/ptzk
  Replies (12) Good night (1955) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna

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  (941): im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna http://tfl.nu/nksh
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer

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  (419): I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer http://tfl.nu/ezfg
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (165)

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