Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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  (401): we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother http://tfl.nu/h33i
  Replies (2) Good night (1659) Bad night (1187)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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  (+33): I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing. http://tfl.nu/69za
  Replies (13) Good night (790) Bad night (2043)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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  (770): I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. http://tfl.nu/9rwz
  Replies (20) Good night (3573) Bad night (645)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny

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  (215): Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny http://tfl.nu/iixy
  Replies (22) Good night (5755) Bad night (925)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8187) Bad night (1735)
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  (619): View more from California

  Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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  (619): Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck http://tfl.nu/s9r0
  Replies (20) Good night (3454) Bad night (1746)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

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  (817): We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen. http://tfl.nu/j56a
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (820)
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  (315): View more from New York

  as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training

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  (315): as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training http://tfl.nu/gwbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1596) Bad night (663)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time

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  (985): Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time http://tfl.nu/pvdr
  Replies (4) Good night (2258) Bad night (1030)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (587)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.

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  (515): He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head. http://tfl.nu/6i8v
  Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (651)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

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  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (558)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?

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  (519): Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is? http://tfl.nu/qsbg
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (577)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think that's a new house record

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  (253): I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat (1-253): I think that's a new house record http://tfl.nu/c3oi
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (263)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.

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  (631): Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on. http://tfl.nu/pysj
  Replies (3) Good night (498) Bad night (275)

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