I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that