What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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