Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
