I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
