The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
