Umm I'm too high to move.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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