i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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