So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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