you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize