I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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