Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
