In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
