I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
