do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
