Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
