You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
