How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
