i barfeds in our rink
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry about my life...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
