my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
