Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
