i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
