I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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