Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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