problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
