there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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