Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
