My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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