There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize