Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
