Fuck appropriateness.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
should my penis look like a turkey
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
