I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
