Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
